


The Spear of Magical Girl Costumes

by MistressLuna



Category: Iron Man - All Media Types, Marvel, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Author has no control over her stories, Crack, Crack Almost Treated Seriously, Gen, Innocent Cars Were Smited, Kinda Villain Tony Stark, Magic Spear, Magical Girl (Boy) Tony Stark, SMITE, The Author Regrets Nothing, This wasn't the original plot of this, Tony Stark Can Smite Things, Villain Tony Stark, Villain!Tony Stark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-07
Updated: 2016-12-07
Packaged: 2018-09-07 04:08:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8782369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistressLuna/pseuds/MistressLuna
Summary: "What the..." Tony mumbled as he saw a spear sparking with yellow and blue electricity. The spear itself was a bright yellow with odd blue markings. It was lighting everything up like a beacon. It was too early, way too damn early for it to be that bright.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Akira_of_the_Twilight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akira_of_the_Twilight/gifts).



> Akira_of_the_Twilight is legit a godsend. I adore Akira a real big lot and gods I have no idea what I'm doing with this but I hope it entertains if even a little. Thank you for all the beautiful stories you've shared with us!

Tony had just gotten to Malibu and it was in the middle of the night. His face had just hit his pillow and he was about to pass out when a huge crash and a blinding light came out of (butt fuck) nowhere. Startled into action he quickly rolled off the bed and fell face first onto the ground.

After a loud groan and some cursing he got up and stumbled all the way outside to see what had just decided it was a great idea to crash into the yard of his, very damn private, property.

"What the..." Tony mumbled as he saw a spear sparking with yellow  and blue electricity. The spear itself was a bright yellow with odd blue markings. It was lighting everything up like a beacon. It was too early, way too damn early for it to be that bright.

"J?" he tried but received no answer, "Great, just great." He grumbled to himself before deciding to get closer to the spear despite his better judgement.

"Please tell me this thing at least has an off button." Tony scowls at the offendingly bright weapon as he gets closer. All too soon he gets within touching range and almost wonders when he got that close, almost.

He sighs as he glares at the weapon. "I swear down to science, if this thing turns me into a magical girl or some shit I will become a god damn supervillain." With a mumbled "I hate magic." he grabs the spear and the light coming from the spear brightens to the point where he'd get blinded if he didn't look away.

The light slowly faded away and Tony was holding the spear in his right hand that was now... Gloved. It was a yellow glove with blue markings. His other hand had the same glove.

"No no no no no no..." Tony quickly looked down at himself to see a similarly coloured skirt, top, tights and boots. The skirt was layered, as was the top, the main colours noticed on them were yellows, blues, slight bits of blacks as well as whites. The tights were full yellow while the high heeled boots were blue with yellow accessories. The only good thing about this was that he wasn't a woman.

He ran back into his house when he heard a helicopter on its way. He'll die before he's seen like this anywhere. He passes by a mirror and stops then walks back to it, he stares at himself and notices that his hair has head gear that looks like it came out of Sailor Moon. His hair has blue and yellow glitter in it and his face is covered in light make up and glitter. His lipstick is yellow with blue glitter.

Tony clenched his hands tightly and remembered that he still had the spear in his hand. He dropped it to see if it would remove the... The... The everything! But he's not that lucky, of course at that moment he hears a quinjet land outside and knows he doesn't have much time and he really doesn't want to deal with the team right now.

He unconsciously grabs the spear and begins running and the next thing he knows is that he's flying above the ocean and across it. "That's it! I'm done! I am so going supervillain!" Tony can't help but shout out loud and feel angry at the stupidity of the situation.

.A week later.

The Avengers couldn't get their mind off of Tony's sudden disappearance and how JARVIS could've possibly been shut down to allow Tony to disappear. Not that it was JARVIS fault, it wasn't, at all. They were all in the common room, they didn't feel like doing anything since they were forbidden to go searching for Tony.

The screen in the common room lit up and Fury's face appeared on screen. "Avengers we've got a situation in downtown Manhattan. Assemble your assess and take care of it." the screen turned off and the Avengers sighed.

Steve stood up and put his Captain America persona on. "Avengers Assemble!" The others didn't hesitate to go into action. They all knew what they had to do and the faster they got it done the faster they can try to persuade Fury into letting them look for Tony again.

When they got to downtown Manhattan they noticed that all of the power was gone and that there seemed to be blue and yellow electricity crawling around. A bolt of blue and yellow was suddenly aiming for them and they all moved out of the way.

"I was kind of expecting you all but well... Ah, who cares I said I'd become a villain if it was a god damn magical girl outfit and I'm sticking to my word." To the shock of the Avengers it was Tony that floated over to greet them. Or well... Tony with a magical girl outfit and was that a spear in his right hand?

Steve stared dumbstruck at Tony not really understanding what he was seeing, Natasha quirked an eyebrow and Tony swore down he saw her mouth twitch upwards, Clint didn't hesitate to laugh his ass off, Bruce looked lost and amused at the same time, and Thor laughed merrily seemingly following Clint's lead.

Tony felt offended on the behalf of himself and his outfit. While being gone for a week he quickly learnt he could quite easily smite people. Not that he actually smited anyone before, just a load of stuff... Mainly Hammer Tech. No one had to know.

Tony huffed and decided to smite the spot right next to the archer thay was holding his stomach that had ended up on the ground from laughing. As soon as the smite hit the ground Clint screeched like a little girl and threw himself at Natasha who quickly dropped him onto the ground.

"Aww, ground." Clint said in his whiny voice that showed he was complaining for being dropped while rubbing his backside. Natasha only snorted and focused back on Tony.

"Tony come on. Just come back to the tower we'll figure out a way for you to get rid of the costume." Natasha said calmly while shooting a 'be reasonable' look to Tony.

"Never!" Tony shouted dramatically and after smiting a couple of innocent cars disappeared in a flurry of blue and yellow lightning.

"What just happened...?" Steve asked while feeling perplexed and looking around as if he was a man that had just gone blind.

"I don't have anymore of an idea than you do Steve." Bruce sighed and took off his glasses to clean them. Looks like they're going to have to either persuade Tony to come back or simply catch him. Bruce just hoped that Tony wouldn't try to bring the Hulk out.


End file.
